she was so not down for the gang bang
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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