Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
