: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
