I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
