I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
