he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
