I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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