the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
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is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
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It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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