Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
