You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
