There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
