Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Randomize
