I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
