He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
