I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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