Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
