Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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