what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think I sprained my soul last night
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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