he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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