it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
