apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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