so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.