Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.