I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.