so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works