atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
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I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
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Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage