Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
