you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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