margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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