i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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