whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
pray to the hookup gods
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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