Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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