i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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