I will die if light touches me.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We are all done wearing pants today
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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