Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
