What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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