I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
being pregnant is like rehab
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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