She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
