I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
