I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
