the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
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I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
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When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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