just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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