i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
