My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
