i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
