I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
