saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
There's a naked man in my car right now.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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