pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
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If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
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The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
so much tequila, so little girl.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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