You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
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We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
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So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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