You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
