Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He did a backflip because drugs
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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