wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You ruined the universe
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
