Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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