i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It all started with a game of naked twister.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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