He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
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I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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