why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
