Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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