he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Boobs are out for the taking
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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