if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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