I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
