I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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