You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize