And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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