Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
