If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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