how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
